Hetalia: Ask the countries!
by xBritishandProudx
Summary: All the questions you've ever wanted to ask a country are totally waiting to be asked. So get reviewing, now's your chance!
1. Chapter 1

I yawned, glancing at the countries sat opposite me. Nearly everyone I'd invited (and some I hadn't) had shown up and they were taking up most of my tiny living room. Britain was lounging in our leather seat and the rest of the countries were squished on the sofas on sat on the floor. We were just waiting for one person.

"Is he gonna show up?" America pouted. "We've been waiting, for like, hours."

"Shut up America." I groaned, chucking a sofa cushion at him. "He'll be here soon."

America dodged it easily, allowing it to hurtle into Britain's face. "Gah!"

"Hah dude! You just got hit by a girl!"

"Oh god I'm sorry." I held up my hands, biting my cheek to stop myself from laughing. "You know I have bad aim."

Britain shot me a glare that sent me cowering into France. "Help me. He's gonna kill meee."

"On no, he'd nevar do a thing like that. He is too much in love with you, no?"

"SHUT UP FROG FACE!" Britain screamed, his composure gone.

"Punk, Pirate!"

I sighed, leaving them to throttle each other.

"I haven't got TIME for this." Prussia growled. "I'm too awesome to wait for this long. He's not important enough for me to waste my awesomeness on."

"Yar," Ukraine agreed. "I'm worried if he doesn't get here soon, Russia will go a leettle cuckoo."

Everyone cast Russia a nervous glance. I was beginning to regret inviting _everyone. _Suddenly, my front door burst open, a figure stumbling into the living room.

"Oh everyone I'm sorry I'm late."

"Canada!" I gasped in relief, clambering to my feet. "Thank god. I thought everyone was gonna kill each other."

Before Canada could answer, America had leapt up as well. "Okay, now we can give the announcement!"

"Finally." Germany muttered from the corner.

"Vee." Italy mumbled in his sleep.

"And what makes you think that you can give the announcement?" Britain growled at America, one hand still around Frances throat.

"Duh, I'm the hero!"

"Guys shut up. I'll announce it."

"But…."

I shot America a death glare. I was getting pretty good at those, especially from living in a house with Britain.

"Okay everyone now is your opportunity to ask all of your favourite countries any questions you have been dying to ask all your life!"

"Just please nothing embarrassing." Britain interjected. Everyone ignored him.

"If you have a question, just leave a review, okay?"

"Who is she talking to?" Italy whispered to Germany.

Everyone groaned. "Go back to sleep Italy."

If you have any questions, make sure you leave a review!

Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: First load of questions!

Sorry it took so long to get this up here. Neugh.I hate homework ~

So the countries had been here for at least a week, waltzing in and out as if they owned the place. And god, did they leave a mess.

Sighing, I picked my way across the littered living room floor, dodging America's outstretched legs. Before I could sort through the post on my doormat, I had to dislodge a furious Gilbird from the pile and brush away the litter of yellow feathers. I loved them and all, but I would be glad when they left.

"Bill, bill, bill, AHA!"

Everyone jumped and Italy toppled from his chair, squealing.

"What is it Doitsu~" He questioned Germany urgently. "Are the British coming?"

"I'm right here, you bloody wanker," Britain sighed, strolling in with a tray of tea. "I've been here all week."

"Hah dude, even Italy doesn't know who you are!"

"Have at you…"

"Everyone shut up!" I growled, waving the letter in the air. "We have our first set of questions!"

"Who from?" Canada asked curiously.

"Some kid named Kandatheawesomepancakemaker." I read awkwardly.

"Gesundheit." America grinned.

"Huh?" Spain asked from across the room.

"It's what the Americans say. It's like bless you." I explained, rolling my eyes. "They say it when there are words they don't understand. So quite a lot."

"Don't be mean dude!"

"It's the truth!"

"Yeah, well it's hard to understand the British. They all talk like they swallowed a dictionary or something!"

"Well at least we can read dictionaries!" I growled. "And we're not idiots!"

"Americans aren't idiots!"

"Yeah, well you can't pronounce words like aluminium!"

"We just say it differently!"

"Yeah, and you drink tea cold! All you're fast food sucks!"

America gasped. "Take it back."

"Never."

"Gesunhiet is actually German…" Germany offered half-heartedly.

America ignored him, leaping at me and pinning my arms behind my back. "Admit American food is the best!"

"Go die in a ditch."

Britain, who had been watching us fight with an amused expression on his face up until now, suddenly leapt up.

"Doesn't this fanfic have a purpose?" He questioned, prising my arms free from Americas death grip.

"Obviously." I muttered, rubbing my wrists. "So the first question…"

"OMG!" Poland yelled, leaping up. "One for me?"

"There's a comment here I think…" I quickly scanned the letter. "Yup, here."

"_O.M.G. Ugh, no I'm not trying to be Poland. Although I love the gay. "_

Sniggering, I read it out. "Hah, she thinks you're gay as well!" I frowned. "At least she sounds like a she."

(N.B. Sorry if you're a guy!)

"No way! OMG how could they?" He pouted.

"Get over it." Germany sighed.

"Okay moving on…" I quickly interjected before it could turn into a fight. "The first question's for America."

"Epic win!" He cried, punching the air. "What do they wanna know?"

"Well…" I trailed off, chuckling.

"What? WHAT?"

"They wanna know what you think of UsUk!"

England choked on his tea but America's face went artfully blank. "Is that a drink?"

"Don't play dumb America." I flicked his ear. "We're all dying to know."

"Uh, it's weird." He turned his face away.

"Is that a blush I spy?" I teased.

"Let's move on shall we?" Britain quickly asked, whisking the letter from my hand.

"Nope." I grabbed it back. "Let's not."

Frowning, I stared at Britain, before my face cracked into an evil grin. I knew a way to make him talk.

"True opinion please, or I'm letting Britain cook dinner." I threatened.

"Okay! Don't kill us all dude." America struggled, looking uncomfortable. "Well, I…"

"Getting bored." Prussia commented, yawning. "I'm too awesome for waiting."

"Right, next question?" America asked, looking relieved.

"PRUSSIA!" Screeching, I glanced at the sender's name. "Sorry Kanda."

"Next question…" America repeated, glancing over my shoulder. "It's a comment. For… Hah, Iggy!"

"Don't call me that absurd fan nickname, you git."

"They say '_I BELIEVE. I'd eat your scones any day, love... Ilu.'"_

"So Ig- Britain, what do you think?" I questioned.

"That's very flattering." Britain blushed, glancing down.

"Iggy's got an admirer, non?" France taunted.

"No!" Britain ranted. "They're simply a fan! At least I have them, unlike some!"

France leapt at Britain, grabbing his neck.

"Well I don't like it." America muttered quietly.

Everyone stopped, staring.

"Huh?" Britain stuttered.

"Nothing." America blushed, laughing uneasily.

I chuckled as well. "Hope that answers your first question Kanda."

"Next she wants to say something to Italy." Germany read over my shoulder.

"STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT I'M SHORT!"

Germany was too busy spluttering and turning purple to respond. Curious, I glanced down at the letter.

"Doitsu? What's wrong?" Italy fretted, feeling Germany's forehead.

This just seemed to make things worse.

"Is it really that bad?" Romano asked, reaching over his brother and plucking the letter from my hands.

I didn't object. I was laughing so hard. Romano quickly read the comment.

"Bastard! Stay away from brother, pervert."

"Will someone please enlighten the rest of us?" Britain remarked dryly.

"It says, '_Dear god, you're so ADORABLE~! I love you Italy! You and Germany  
>are perfect for each other!'"<em> Spain read.

"BASTARD!" Romano roared again.

"Veeh~ They think I'm adorable?" Italy smiled, eyes big. "But what do they mean about me and Germany…"

"If you think I'm gonna let you near my little brother, you bast-"

"Romano." I scolded. "They also say they want to curse you in italien, but they don't know how."

"I have Google translate." Canada offered, speaking up for the first time.

"Great!" I grinned, typing furiously. "Okay Romano, tu sei un bastardo stupido..."

"Va 'all'inferno." He replied, sitting back down next to Spain, scowling.

"Cheer up Romano. At least they think you're awesome." Spain replied, tweaking Romano's curl.

"_Mein Gott. You are hot~! Oh dear me, I'd let you seize my vital  
>regions any day~ No joke… You are so totally the awesomest thing on earth…<br>After me of course." _Prussia read aloud, raising the discarded letter.

"Hah, dude! OWNED!" America grinned, poking Prussia in the cheek.

"I won't believe it. No one is more awesome than me." Prussia turned away, folding his arms.

"They also say that France got his perverted side from them." Britain furrowed his bushy eyebrows. "At least I think that's what they're implying…."

"How dare z'ey! My, charment personality is mine alone!"

"There's nothing _charming_ about it, you bloody wanker-"

"OH LOOK!" I yelled, waving the letter in their faces. "The next questions are for Sweden and Finland."

"But they're not here…" Italy pointed out.

"Thanks for that Sherlock." I sighed. "Why don't you email them?"

"Who's Sherlock?" America questioned.

"Only one of the greatest fictional characters that ever existed!" I replied passionately.

"Like Captain America?"

"No idiot. Sherlock's a character from a book, written by Sir Arthur…"

"Britain, you wrote a book?" America grinned, interrupting me. "No way dude!"

"No you fobbish twit. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote Sherlock, here in Portsmouth." Britain sighed.

"I'm not fobbish!" America declared.

"Doitsu, what's fobbish?" Italy asked, tugging on Germany's sleeve.

"British slang." He sighed.

"Well that's all we have time for today kids." I smiled tightly, opening my door. "You all go out for a bit, I need a break."

"But where are we supposed to go?" America gasped, using the puppy dog eyes on me. "Don't send us out there in the cold!"

"I've let you all stay here, out of the kindness of my heart. The least you can do is get out for an hour."

"But…"

I shot America a glare as I picked up a broom. "You can stay and help tidy up your mess if you like."

"Never mind."

There was a general noise as everyone filed out into the relentless rain, shooting me various dirty looks.

"Oh and before you go, this Kanda also says that, uh Japan and Hungary make the best yaoi ever, I think."

Hungary, who had just been making her way down my stairs with Austria, still dressed in her pyjamas, gave a shriek.

"But I'm a GIRL!"

Thanks for reading, remember to leave a review if you have a question!

Original Question:

_O.M.G. Ugh, no I'm not trying to be Poland… Although I love the gay._

_Okay~!_

_Me: This is Kanda speaking to all you countries. I have a few things to say..._

_First off, America: What's your opinion of UsUk, dude? I'd truly love to  
>know.. Since I am a big fan of it.<em>

_Iggy: I BELIEVE. I'd eat your scones any day, love... Ilu._

_Onto Italy!: Dear god, you're so ADORABLE~! I love you Italy! You and Germany  
>are perfect for each other!<em>

_Romano: Oh how I'd love to curse you out in YOUR native language right now..  
>But since I don't know any Italian.. There goes my hopes. Anyways, you are<br>awesome. Like, seriously.._

_Prussia: Mein Gott. You are hot~! Oh dear me, I'd let you seize my vital  
>regions any day~ No joke.. You are so totally the awesomest thing on earth..<br>After me of course._

_France: ...*claps* I'm so glad I rubbed off on you, Mon Cheri~_

_Are Finland and Sweden there too? If they are, tell them this.._

_Sweden: Ilu._

_Finland: I BELIEVE IN YOU LIKE I BELIEVE IN SANTY CLAUSE. : And I believe in  
>you, Finland.<em>

_Almost forgot._

_Japan&Hungary: SuFin. Best yaoi ever. I swear._

_That is all from the awesomeness that is Kanda. *waves at you all and le  
>poofs*<em>


	3. Chapter 3

Oh god, I'm sooooo sorry it took so long! If your question isn't in this chapter, it will be in the next one. DON'T BE MAD AT MEEEEE!

"Why are we in your garden shed?" Japan questioned, blinking in the dull light.

"Because the house is full."

"But why are we here arone?"

"Because it's a personal question." I explained again, sitting opposite him. "I told everyone else to get lost."

"You have asked personal questions before." Japan muttered.

"Yes but those guys aren't as shy as you!"

"Okay." He sighed, crossing his arms. "What is it?"

Awkwardly, I angled my torch at the letter and smirked slightly.

"Well this girl, uh Iguana, wants to know your true feelings for Greece."

Japan blinked. "I don't understand."

"Well I think she ships you so…"

"WHAT?" Japan squealed, turning red.

"Well it's a term for…"

"I am well aware of the term thank you."

"So?" I prompted.

"He is my friend."

"Really?" I questioned, sounding slightly disappointed. "Because you seem so close…"

"Well…" Japan absentmindedly flicked a dirt clod across the filthy floor. "I like him a rot. And I enjoy spending time with him…"

"Uh huh."

"A-and he smells good. Like cats."

I grinned. "Would you kiss him?"

Japan looked startled, but opened his mouth to answer.

"I-"

"THERE YOU ARE!"

The shed was suddenly bathed in bright sunlight, so bright it sent me and Japan into a blinking fit.

"America!" I growled, squinting at the tall figure in the doorway.

Francis bobbed up behind him, an evil glint in his eye. "Oh ho ho." He smirked. "Interrupting are we?"

"Shut up Frenchie."

Pouting, I climbed out of my shed and plodded back into my kitchen, where nearly everyone was milling around.

"It's okay dudes, we found them!" America yelled, clapping one hand on mine and Japans shoulder.

"They were in the garden shed together." France smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"Go play with the rest of your trio France." I suggested, settling in an empty seat and waving the letter around. "I was asking questions from Iguana."

"Are there any for us?" Britain asked curiously.

"Well there's a comment for you and France."

"What does it say?"

"It says, even though they love Japan and Greece the most as a couple (enter blush from Japan), they think you and France are cute as well."

Britain choked on his tea.

Sighing, I walloped him on the back, handing the letter to Japan. This was getting to be a habit.

Whilst I was performing this life saving procedure, I couldn't help noticing him tuck it inside his pocket. This seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else, as France was demanding the attention.

"Oui, we make an attractive couple no?"

"No!" Britain gasped, turning pale. "The very idea…"

America laughed loudly. "Yeah dude, like no way would he date you!"

"That's right America." I replied. "He's in love with you."

Britain nodded. "Exact- HUH?"

"Oh look, another letter." Ducking Britain's fist I grabbed the letter from the pile and opened it.

"Veh~" Italy clapped his hands. "We're getting popular!"

"It's from Kanda again." Austria commented, reading the torn envelope.

"T-The one who thought I was a boy?" Hungry stuttered, pausing with one hand still on my fridge door.

"Yeah and she says sorry to Prussia." I explained, ruffling his hair. "Apparently she says you're an _equal _amount of awesome, okay?"

He frowned slightly, considering. "Well, I guess…"

"Great!" I cut him off, glancing about the room. "Now, where's Canada?"

"M-Me?" The soft voice came from the corner.

"Uh huh." I strolled over to him and perched on the seat beside him. "You've got an entire paragraph."

"Hah!" America laughed loudly. "Dude who are you talking to?"

"Canada stupid." I glared, turning back to the nervous country. "So, first off she says you don't deserve to be sat on by Russia or mistaken for America, because you're too awesome for that."

"T-That's nice of her."

"Everyone deserves to be sat on by me." Russia commented, smiling. Everyone shuddered.

"Riiiight." I glanced down. "And she's told us how to pronounce her name. Kanda-the – awesome-pancake- maker."

"This person throws the word awesome around a lot." Prussia pouted.

"Oh look, Canada." I waved the letter in his surprised face. "She invited you to make pancakes with her some time!"

"Oh that would be nice." He smiled. "I can bring maple syrup."

"Right dude, so next question?" America interrupted.

"Okay. She says 'America you bloody twit. May I say, TWILIGHT ISN'T LITERATURE!'"

Britain smirked whilst America blushed. "I-I know. I'm ashamed of it too."

"Okay." I sighed. "She's done with you."

"What?" He gasped. "No question for the hero?"

"No question for the hero." I sighed. "Spaaaaaain…"

Spain jumped, glancing guiltily at me. "Yes?"

"Nothing."

"Oh look, the next comment is for Iggy. He seems to be very popular." Germany sighed.

Britain turned purple. "Stop with the bloody fan name."

"Britain, she says it's her pet name for you, because she loves you so much."

"Well, o-okay then." He blushed. Before France could comment, I slammed a hand over his mouth and continued.

"She says, 'Hey, Iggy, scone making party at my place!'"

"Oh that sounds entertaining." He smiled slightly. "Would any of you care to come along?"

Everyone was busy.

"Oh I'll come Iggy." I grinned, crossing my fingers behind my back. "Do you think I should bring some edible- I mean some of _my_ homemade scones?"

"Um, okay then."

"And now, last question!" I smiled. "Aw, it's for Sealand-chan!"

"Oh god no, he's not here is he?" Britain grimaced.

"No, I don't thin-"

"Hey, jerk Britain!" A little voice emerged from the cupboard under my stairs. Curiously, I yanked the door open, peering into the gloom.

"Sealand –chan?"

"SEALAND?" The rest of my kitchen echoed.

"Yes, I've been here all along you jerks." He pouted, climbing out of my cupboard. "Seeing as you wouldn't recognise me, I…"

"You've. Been. Living. In. My. House?" I whispered, slowly advancing on him. "For two _weeks?_"

"Woah, stay back dude!" America yelled, swooping him out of my way. Prussia held my arms behind my back.

"Kesesese, don't kill him!"

"HE'S BEEN LIVING UNDER MY STAIRS FOR TWO WEEKS! HOW WOULD YOU REACT?"

Britain seemed to be pretty angry as well.

"You little baby!" He growled. "Go home and watch cartoons why don't you?"

"Look, this Kanda says to make her proud and become a country, Sealand." Prussia read the letter over my shoulder.

"DON'T OFFER HIM _ENCOURAGMENT!" _

"Okay dudes, I think that's all we have time for today!" America interjected, placing Sealand down a fair distance from me and Iggy. "I think you should go home little guy."

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" Britain screeched.

"I'LL CALL THE POLICE!"

With a sigh, Germany deposited the letter into the bin. "Kanda says she loves us all as well."

Everyone was too busy attempting to restrain Iggy and me to respond.

Original Comments:

Magnificently Evil Iguana –

Squee! Mine is for Japan, but some others are mentioned too: Japan,  
>you...are...awesome! JapanGreece will always be the pair for moi ;)  
>FranceEngland is great too though; so onto the question: Japan, what are your  
>TRUE feeling *coughLOVEcough* for Greece? ~Iguana out!<p>

Kandatheawesomepancakemaker -Okay okay. I'm not exactly sure if I'm allowed to review twice, but duck it!  
>I'm reviewing again!<p>

Kanda, again.

I wanted to apologize for last time. Prussia, you and I have an equal amount  
>of awesome. How's that sound? :)<p>

Alright I know I missed a few more countries, and I wanted to ask them some  
>questioncomments.

First up, Canada.

I really want to hug you right now. You don't deserve to be sat on by Russia,  
>or be mistaken as your brother, America. *hmphs* You're too awesome for that.<br>And may I mention, I'm Kanda-the-awesome-pancake-maker for a reason? (I read  
>it out for you guys this time. Aren't I awesome?)<p>

Anyways, you should come over sometime! We'll make pancakes together! If you  
>wanted of course...<p>

America. You bloody twit. May I say, TWILIGHT ISN'T LITERATURE!

Okay, I'm done with you.

For Spain..

Spaaaaaaaaain~

Heyheyheyhey, Iggy! (It's my pet name for you, btw. Cause ilu so much!)

Scone making party at my place?

I swear, I think Sealand's there, correct?

Well even if he isn't: Make me proud. Become a country! ;u;

I think that's it... Love you guys!

~Kanda~


	4. Chapter 4

"For the last bloody time America, we cann_ot _have a barbeque."

"But why?" He whined. "Italy thinks it's a good idea, right?"

"Veh~" Italy clapped his hands, smiling.

"One, because you guys have eaten me out of house and home for the past month." I growled. "Two, because it's the middle of WINTER. And three, because I said so!"

"But that's not FAIR!" He pouted. "I'll buy the food and cook it, so why not?"

"Hah, good luck with that." Britain smirked. "You forgot the fourth reason. You don't even have a barbeque do you?"

"Oh yeah." I smiled sweetly at America. "Sure you can have a barbeque, if you can find one."

"W-What? What kind of person doesn't have a barbeque?"

"One who lives in England?" I sighed, glancing at the threatening grey sky outside my window. "It's not the sunniest place in the world you know."

"That's because Britain's so damn tsundre." Prussia muttered to himself.

"Excuse me?"

"OKAY!" America yelled, leaping up. "I'm going out for a while! Britain can come with."

"W-what?" Britain gasped as America grabbed his sleeve and dragged him from the room, nearly running Austria down as he strolled in with the post.

"Watch where you are going!"

"Sorry dude. We'll be back soon!"

"Great." I sighed. "Now we're down two countries and we haven't even asked the first question."

"It's alright." Germany sighed, scanning the first letter. "This one doesn't feature them at all…"

"Yay!" I grinned, plucking it from his hands and reading it out. "It's from someone called HetaliaSparkleParty."

"Pwahahahah!" Spain, Prussia and France broke down, clutching each other and laughing hysterically.

"W-what's so funny bastards?" Romano muttered hesitantly.

"Well, last night we…."

"I actually don't want to know." I grimaced, quickly scanning the letter and reading the first question. "Germany, have you ever heard of the song, um…" I snickered. "'German Sparkle Party?'"

This just seemed to push the immature trio over the edge.

Germany turned beetroot. "OF COURSE I HAVEN'T!"

"Maybe we should put it on…." Prussia suggest, between snorts. "Huh, West?"

"NO WAY YOU IDIOT!"

"Next question?" Austria sighed, crossing his legs.

"It's for Russia." I smiled. It was nice someone wanted to talk to Russia. "Russia, can she become one with you?"

"Da!" Russia beamed.

"Oh and she sent these." I held out the sunflowers that had been delivered with it. Russia took them gladly, pressing the bright yellow petals to his cheek.

"Thank you, Sparkle." He smiled. "You are very sweet."

"Oh hon hon, love is in the air mon charment Russia." France winked, tossing his silky hair. "Perhaps you would like a tip from me?"

"No thank you." Russia replied. "I would not accept advice from you, even if we were both condemned to an eternal damnation together."

"Riiight…" I replied. "Moving on. 'France, why do you insist on being such a pervert?'"

"I find my questions very unoriginal, mon Cherie." He pouted, sauntering from the room.

"We should follow him." Spain sighed, jumping up, dragging Prussia with him.

"Wait Prussia, one question for you before you go." I yelled. "Can Sparkle poke Gilbird?"

"No way!" He yelled back, being dragged from the room.

I chuckled darkly.

"What's wrong?" Canada whispered, tugging at my sleeve.

"She's gonna poke him anyway."

"GILBIRD!" Prussia shrieked from the other room, right on cue.

"I-Is she in the house?"

I grimaced. "God I don't know anymore. Did anyone check under the stairs?"

Everyone slowly shook their heads.

"I thought not."

"Let's move on shall we?" Germany sighed, checking his watch. "We do actually have lives outside of this show."

"Tetchy, tetchy." I teased. "You may have lives but while you're in England you have to stay here."

"We can stay at Britain's house…"

"Ah, but you can't because Britain is here. He's staying for a holiday."

"Mien gott! Just ask the next question!"

"Okay! God." I glanced at the letter. "They want to know if Italy wants to go out and get some pasta some time…"

"Veh~" He clapped his hands. "That would be wonderful!"

"And they say you can bring Germany."

Germany blushed. "T-that's very considerate…"

We were interrupted as Spain, Prussia and France strolled back in, evil grins on their faces.

"Um, was Sparkle in our house?" I questioned, crumpling up the letter and handing it to Germany, to save him from embarrassment. He took it thankfully.

"Oui." France smiled, back to his old self.

"Hah, we took care of her."

I glanced at them nervously. "Please say you did nothing illegal."

"Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies." Spain grinned, taking his seat next to Romano.

"Next letter." Hungry smiled, opening the envelope carefully and gazing at it. "Oh, the first questions are for America and Britain…"

"Oh, well we can call them." I scooped up my phone and flicked through my contacts, stopping at Britain. Quickly, I punched in the numbers and pressed loud speaker.

After a short pause he picked up, snapping irritably.

"Hello?"

"Hey Britain." I replied, glancing at my letter. "RandomWriter has a few questions for you guys."

"What – Oh America you bloody git… Get off the phone!"

"Hey dude, what do you want?"

I chuckled. "Hey America. A fan wants to know, how do you eat so many hamburgers and still stay so thin?"

"Um, well I exercise loads dude and like, I'm a hero! You don't get fat heroes… Ow, England don't snatch-"

"Sorry, about him. You said you had a question for me?"

"Uh, yes. They say they're from the UK as well, well Scotland so… Are you even listening to me?"

"America put that down! No, I'm not buying that for you! God, you're so bloody embarrassing…"

"BRITAIN? BRITAIN?"

Germany sighed. "Allow me…"

I shrugged. "Go ahead…"

"YOU LISTEN RIGHT NOW YOU IGNORANT COUNTRIES. MIEN GOTT, STOP FLIRTING FOR ONE MINUTE AND LISTEN!"

There was a silence on the other end, then… "Sorry. You were saying?"

I smiled thankfully at Germany, before continuing. "Um, they say they don't understand why everyone hates your cooking. They love it apparently."

France made a 'they're crazy' sign with his hand.

Another silence. "E-everyone… Hates my cooking?"

"NO!" I rushed to reassure him. "Of course not. It's just, um, a required taste."

I could hear America laughing in the background.

"Where are you anyway?"

"Well, we're…. AMERICA FOR THE LAST TIME, PUT. THAT. DOWN!"

The line went dead.

"THEY BELIEVE IN FLYING MINT BUNNY!" I yelled desperately.

"Uh, next question is for Italy." Romano grumbled, folding his arms. "Stupid idiot gets all the attention."

Spain put a comforting arm over his shoulders.

"So, um Italy. They say they love pasta and eat it every day!"

"Veh~" He smiled.

"And they also want to know why you always have your eyes closed."

Italy blinked, giving everyone a brief glimpse of his almond eyes.

"I mean," I smiled. "You have really pretty eyes, so you should show them more. Right Germany?"

"Huh?" He choked.

I decided to skip the next comment, due to Frances um, _sensitive _mood.

"And Germany, they say guten tag. Wie geht's?"

"Good day to you as well. I'm good, as I hope you are too."

Prussia snickered, nudging France. "Look at West flirting!"

"PRUSSIA YOU IMMATURE FOOL!"

"Um, Germany, they also want to know why you're so strict…"

"What?" He frowned. "I'm not strict. I'm sensible."

"If you say so." I sighed.

"How much longer is this letter?" Austria yawned.

I ignored him. "She says Kon'nichiwa Japan."

"Kon'nichiwa." He replied.

"And Canada!" I grinned, turning to the shy country. "You've been quite popular lately. Random says she loves maple syrup, but hasn't had the chance to try Canadian stuff yet, so is it better there than in the UK?"

"Um, isn't every food better than in the UK?" He whispered, braver now Britain was gone.

"Hey, enough of the cheek." I chuckled at him, ruffling his hair. "She also says you're awesome and she'll never forget you…"

"NO!" Prussia yelled, stamping his feet. "I'm the awesome one! GET IT RIGHT YOU DELUDED FANGIRLS!"

(Or boys. Sorry if I have more gender confusion in this chapter – Letty ;u;)

"Prussia calm down. Gosh, even this person agrees. They want to know why you're so damn narcissistic."

"I'm not!" He gasped. "Everything I say is the truth!"

"Is it possible to be as self-loving as you are?" I groaned, quoting the letter.

Prussia looked pretty upset.

"Hey, um Prussia?" I muttered, taking pity on him. "They say you're still pretty awesome."

Well, _that_, I regretted immediately.

"Hah, I knew it! I knew I was the awesomest!

"Well I-"

"DUDES WE'RE BACK!" America hurtled into the kitchen, looking extremely excited. "AND LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT!"

Britain struggled in after him, staggering with a massive box.

"You bought a barbeque?" I hissed, cupping my head in my hands. "It's the middle of winter for god's sake! What shop even stocks them?"

"Well, we went all over town, right Iggy?"

"Can't. Breath." Britain gasped, collapsing under the weight of the box.

Russia helpfully lifted it off him, stepping back quickly when America launched himself at it, tearing at the packaging.

"America…"

"No! You said we could have a barbeque if I found one! And look…" He delved into a plastic bag and came up with tons of frozen burgers. "Dude, yummy right?"

"B-but…"

We were helpless to this rush of American enthusiasm. Soon he had it unpacked and swaying unsteadily on my uneven decking outside. Everyone was shivering, hunched up in their winter coats.

"Yay dudes!" America grinned, finally managing to light the wretched thing. "Barbeque time!"

"IT'S BLOODY WINTER!" I yelled, just as the heavens opened, drenching us to the bone.

"I told you we couldn't have a barbeque." I sighed, patting a sobbing America on the head.

The house was silent after that, except for the quiet sound of German Sparkle Party echoing through the house.

"PRUSSIA!"

* * *

><p>Original Comments:<p>

HetaliaSparkleParty:

-Comes up from the floor-

Hallo! It's HetaliaSparkleParty here! or just Sparkle for short... Anways here  
>are my questions:<p>

1) Germany, ever heard of the song "German Sparkle Party"? If not you should  
>listen to it!<p>

2) Russia, can I become one with you? :D -holds ou some sunflowers-

3) France, why do you insist on being so pervy?

4) Prussia, can I poke Gilbird? -pokes anyways-

and 5) Italy, wanna go eat some pasta sometime together? You can bring  
>Germany.<p>

ASTA LA PASTA!

-sinks back through the floor

RandomWriter57:

So now I have some questions...

America: dude, you're awesome! But how can you eat so many hamburgers and  
>still be that thin?<p>

England: I come from the UK! Well, Scotland to be exact, but I'm right on the  
>border! Anyways, your cooking is awesome, so why does everyone hate it? I LOVE<br>it!

Also, I believe in the fairies, flying mint bunny, etc. Don't let the non  
>believers get you down!<p>

Italy: PASTAAAA~ ahh, I love pasta :) I swear I have it every day! Anyways,  
>why do you always have your eyes closed?<p>

France: stay away from me pervert!

Germany: Guten tag. Wie geht's? I speak a little bit of german :) anyways, why  
>are you so strict?<p>

Japan: konnichiwa! (sorry if I spelt it wrong) so...I haven't got a  
>question...<p>

Canada: CANADA! Yay! Canada is awesome :) I love maple syrup but I haven't got  
>to try the stuff from Canada yet so, is it better in Canada than in the uk?<br>Btw, I will never forget you Canada!

Prussia: yeah, how come you're so narcissist? Is it even possible to be as  
>self loving as you are? Well, you're still pretty awesome...<p>

Sorry for the question horde...

Continue with this story please! Can you also read mine please? I would really  
>appreciate it! *bribes with cookies*<p>

you're awesome!


	5. Chapter 5

"But I don't wanna…"

"America, shut up you bloody git!"

"But- ACK!"

"Hey so in our last story RandomWriter asked us to read her story!"

"We'd love to read it, but we don't know which story you mean…"

"Can you send us a title or link next time with your questions?"

"That would be helpful!"

"Thanks!"

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this…" Britain groaned. "It's completely ludicrous!"

"No dude, it's fun!" America declared.

"Veh~ I like camping!"

"But this tent is so bloody small!" He frowned, drawing his knees up to his chin.

"Well it's all I could fit in my living room so stop complaining." I unzipped the tent and peered in at the countries, waving a plate of biscuits and marshmallows. "So I thought we could make smores on my fireplace."

"Dude, awesome!" America exclaimed, struggling out of the tent and settling before my tiny gas fire.

"We're inside… Camping…." Germany muttered to himself as he settled on the floor with Italy. Most of the countries had opted out of this stupid idea and were upstairs, probably sleeping in real beds. All that had decided to stay were Prussia, France, Spain, America, Canada, Germany and Italy. Well, you couldn't really count Iggy. He was here against his will.

Of course this made it a pretty tight squeeze, seeing as everyone was huddled in sleeping bags as well.

"Well, it's still raining outside and I've always wanted to try it." I shrugged, handing the snacks around.

"So what shall we do now?" America gushed. "Tell scary stories? Dude, I know a great one…"

"Oh okay." I grinned, shamefully as excited as America.

"Sorry to spoil your fun." Germany frowned. "But we have letters to read remember?"

"Right." Britain nodded. "Business is the most important thing."

"Okay fine." I pouted, taking the letter and ripping it open. "We'll just have to tell scary stories later."

"Okay first question?" France asked, grinning at me in the firelight. "So when we are done, we can play a game oui?"

"U-um okay…" I chuckled slightly nervously. "What one?"

"Oui! Um, that American one… 7 minutes in heaven?"

"But France, I'm the only girl here…"

"Oui. That will make it interesting!"

"No you bloody wanker!" Britain choked. "Of course it wouldn't!"

"Okay, first comment. Apparently Sealand sounds like Lauren Lopez."

Everyone burst out laughing, except for Italy and Germany. "Who's Lauren Lopez?"

"She's an awesome actress apparently, but not as awesome as Prussia so don't worry."

Prussia smiled, patting Gilbird. "Good."

"So who is this letter from?" Canada muttered.

"Um, IHeartGiripan."

"Who's Giripan?"

I just shrugged.

"Next one's for Iggy!" America grinned snatching the letter. "Dude, just admit it, you love France!"

I helpfully removed the smore from his hand before he could choke.

"O-of course I don't! Letty, you'll back me up right?" He gasped, turning to me for help.

"Don't look at me." I smirked, taking a bite of the gooey mess. "I support the FACE family as well."

"T-the face family?"

I nodded. "Uh huh, France, America, Canada and England. You and France are the parents and Canada and America are the children."

"Kesesesesese!" Prussia gasped, leaning on Spain. "France the family man. Hah!"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Oui, I agree. I am too beautiful to be tied down to one person!"

"Whatever." This smore was really messy. "I like USUK better anyway." I replied, licking my fingers.

"For goodness sake, can't you fans leave us to handle our own love lives?"

"No. You're so clueless you all need a helpful shove."

"W-well it's unnecessary."

"No it isn't."

"BAD TOUCH TRIO FOR THE WIN!" Spain yelled, making us all jump.

"What was that for dude?" America gasped, clutching his chest. "You nearly killed me!"

"We needed to move on, so I moved it along." He smiled.

"Riiiight."

"Next question?"

"Um, it's for France I think, yup frenchie, they say 'je parle français, mais je  
>ne suis pas couramment. "<p>

"Oh, everyone should be fluent in the language of love." He grinned. "I could teach you sometime if you wish? Oh hon hon. "

"Stay away from our reviewers, France." I warned.

"Yes, I'm not paying your bail again this time." Britain sighed, picking up the next letter.

"Who's it from?" I asked curiously, dragging the bag of marshmallows out of Americas reach.

"Duuude!" He gasped. "What was that for?"

"Eat any more and you'll be sick." I groaned, slipping the bag into Canada's surprised hands. "So who's our sender Iggy?"

"Oh, um Vulcanblood."

"T-that's kind of intimidating." Canada whispered.

"Veh~ Scary!" Italy gasped.

"Uh, they've sent something in German!" Whining, I thrust the letter at Germany. "Read it yourself."

"And these came with it, West." Prussia grinned, thrusting the pickled cabbage at him.

"Oh, yum, food!" Italy grinned, reaching inside and shoving a fistful into his mouth. "ACK!"

"Italy, you know you don't like pickles!" German yelped, turning purple. "Why would you EAT that?"

"I was hungry Germany." Italy whimpered, hiding in his sleeping bag. "I haven't eaten much all week. British food is too bland!"

"Shut up about British food!" Britain and I snapped at the same time.

"Can we hurry up?" France sighed, tossing his head. "I need to put my hair in curlers soon. This perfection doesn't just happen, mon Cherie. "

"Okay, the next question is… Ugh…." I frowned at the letter. W-was there a mistake? "For Russia."

"Oui? Is it asking about his homicidal tendencies?"

"No, it's… Explaining how he's the most handsome of all the countries!" I burst into tears.

"Letty!" America gasped, hugging me tight. "What's wrong?"

"S-someone finally realises how amazing Russia is!"

"I say, steady on!" Britain yelled, backing away. "Aren't you overreacting?"

"Y-yes sorry." I muttered, picking up the bag of sunflower seeds. "She's invited him to roast sunflower seeds and ransack her parent's vodka with her!"

"How romantic?" Prussia raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah I know!" I gushed, grabbing the seeds and running upstairs. "I'll be right back!"

The upstairs hallway was dark, only muffled voices guiding me along it. Frowning, I realised I really needed to replace the bulb.

"Russia…" I muttered, rapping my knuckles gently on the last door I came to. Eventually it creaked open, revealing China's anxious face.

"Oh it's you Letty." He smiled. "Come in."

"Russia?" I glanced about, finally locating him in the cluttered room. He was shirtless, though he still had his scarf wrapped loosely around his neck.

"Da?"

"Um, a reviewer made these for you." I smiled, depositing them into his outstretched hand. "She invited you over to make them some time."

"That sounds good."

"Great, well I'll speak to you guys tomorrow." I pranced from the room, waving to each of them quickly as I left.

"Oh god, you're okay!" Iggy gasped in relief when I made it downstairs. "Don't bloody go to his room by yourself!"

"I wasn't alone. China was there. Anyway, this girl wants to invite France over as well."

"Absolutely no taste in boys." Spain sighed, shaking his head.

"And what do you mean by zat?"

"Her dad makes good crepes and they have lots of cheese."

Britain sighed. "Was it necessary to say that?"

"I just read the letters dude." I muttered, then gasped. "Oh god, look what America's done to me!"

"What's up dude?"

"Gah!"

"Can we move on?" Prussia scowled.

"Right. Next question's for Iggy."

"Let me guess." France sighed. "It's a remark on his cooking skills."

"Um, nope."

"Really? So what does it say?" Britain enquired.

"Dude, your scones are certifiably awesome. Don't let those losers get you down. And I myself have swallowed a few dictionaries. VOCABULARY RULES!"

"I thought it did not mention his food!"

"It says the scones are awesome. Not edible." I replied, patting Britain on the head. "Just kidding Iggy."

"AGAIN WITH THE AWESOME!"

"Prussia calm down before you hurt yourself."

"Dude, this chick wants to help me eradicate the menace that is twilight!" America hesitated. "Um… eradicate?"

"To destroy or cause disappearance of a particular object or subject."

"Are you sure you didn't swallow a dictionary Iggy?"

"Any normal person knows the definition, correct?"

Everyone started to whistle, except for me. "Of course."

"Uh, what's this?" Spain groaned, picking up a soggy paper bag. "I-is that pasta?"

"Veh~" Italy grinned and grabbed the bag. "It smells homemade."

Everyone was silent for a moment as they watched Italy chow down the pasta.

"How does he eat it that quickly?"

"Doesn't he have to breathe?"

"Hah! No, he must have lots of practice kissing Germany!" Prussia chuckled, ducking Germany's fist.

"Shut up!"

"Yeah, this fan wants you to leave Germany alone, you git."

"HAH!" This just made him laugh harder. "You gonna get your little fangirl to beat me up, West?"

"MIEN GOTT!" Sighing amongst ourselves, the rest of us closed the circle in tighter, attempting to ignore the sound of Germany choking Prussia.

"Well that letter's done." Britain pinched the bridge of his nose, frowning slightly. "Next?"

"Wait!" I yelled, grabbing the paper. "You missed Canada."

"B-but seeing as he isn't here…"

"He's been here the whole time you certifiable idiot."

I turned again to the shy country. "Hey Canada, they want you to say hi to their auntie, okay?"

Canada smiled, nodding happily, a slight pink blush tinging his cheeks. "Thank you so much for remembering me. It makes me happy when fans know my name."

"N'awwww." I couldn't help squealing.

"Will you repeat zat Mathieu? Perhaps on film?"

"Don't ruin that moment with your perviness France."

"Alright!" America fist pumped, clutching the new letter. "First comment for me."

"'I should have known! But still, how many burgers do you eat a day? And who has a BBQ in Britain in winter? That just sounds stupid...'" Britain smirked, crossing his arms.

"There you bloody git. Everyone agrees."

America's bottom lip began to tremble, a look of immense dejection on his face. "Iggy?"

"S-stop with that idiotic face, you wanker."

"Who is this from anyway?" Spain questioned, pushing his smore away in disgust and plucking a tomato from his pocket.

"RandomWriter again."

"That stalker?"

I ignored him.

"Next questions for Britain… Uh. You guys have got to stop feeding his ego."

"Really?" Britain glanced up from America, looking curious. "What do they say?"

"Lots of people like your food, yada yada yada."

"Well they do." He huffed.

"Well, yes that may be true but everyone letter seems to mention your freaking scones."

France made the crazy sign again, rolling his eyes.

"France, she says she isn't crazy. British food is better than snails and frogs legs."

Everyone nodded. "She has a point."

Now it was Frances turn to huff.

I was eager to hurry on, so I left France to sulk. "Spain give Romano this tomato next time you see him." I chucked the shiny red fruit at him. "And Italy apparently your eyes are pretty."

"Veh~" He smiled, a strand of spaghetti trailing out the corner of his mouth. "Thank you!"

"Germany, in response to your flirting in the last episode, Random says she's fine."

Germany was still slightly preoccupied in his methodical choking of his older brother to reply, though his red face did grow slightly redder.

"Prussia, um another comment on your debatable awesomeness." I waved the paper in front of his bulging eyes. "She admits you're awesome but you have to accept that other people are awesome as well. And she is _not _deluded."

Prussia gasped something unintelligible.

"What does it mean about Canada being a bit harsh?" Britain questioned from his secluded corner of my room. "He's always seemed like a sweet boy to me."

"Insert fan girl spasm here." I muttered, then smirked. "Oh, he made a jibe at your food whilst you were out the other day."

"BLOODY HELL!"

Collapsing with laughter, America leant against me. "Hah dude." He stuck his fist out to Canada. "Nice one bro."

Smiling sweetly, Canada fist pounded him, not daring to look Britain in the eye.

"Is this some kind of bloody conspiracy you gits?"

"GAH BRITAIN GET OVER IT WE HAVE ANOTHER LETTER TO READ AND I WANT TO PLAY A GAME SO JUST GROW UP AND SIT DOWN SO I CAN READ THE GODAMN THING!"

Meekly, Britain settled down.

"Okay so next letter is from…"

(Oh god, sorry if I portray you awfully here)

My front door crashed open, revealing a girl with camping equipment strapped to her back.

"So you beat me on the tent idea."

(Believe it or not I had the camping idea before I got your email. Great minds think alike?)

"SPARKLE?" Prussia wrenched out of Germany's grip, staring at the girl guiltily. "Um, so you're still in the country then?"

"Yes. That hurt." She regarded the trio with a menacing expression. Everyone shivered as they felt the temperature drop a few degrees. "Next time I'll beat you until all your little faces are all ugly. Especially you France."

I flinched, clambering to my feet. "Listen, I'm not sure how you picked my lock, but-"

"GERMANYYYYYYY!"

We all watched in shocked silence as she glomped the surprised country.

"Didya miss me?"

"Not particularly."

She giggled, completely indifferent to his frosty response. "Weren't you worried that your brother was gonna hurt me badly?"

"Well…."

"OF COURSE YOU WERE!"

"Sparkle, I would never seriously hurt you. I'm too awesome for that…" Prussia began to explain, but Sparkle cut him off.

Still clinging to Germany's neck, she rounded on the albino. "PRUSSIA, I AM WAAAAAY AWESOMER THAN YOU! YOU'RE ARGUMENT IS INVALID!"

His eye began to twitch. "Now listen…"

"If you have any complaints please refer them to my team of flying mint bunnies."

Britain growled. "Don't patronize me!"

She spun around, finally releasing Germany. Italy rubbed his pale neck sympathetically.

"Iggy! I love the eyebrows!" She ruffled his hair and her eyes narrowed menacingly as she caught France out of the corner of her eye. "Wanna help me teach the frog a lesson?"

"Very much so yes, shall we do it now or…?"

I glared at him, folding my arms.

"Never mind."

"Italy please stop that annoying massaging!" Germany snapped, swatting at Italy's hand.

Before his eyes could fill with tears, Sparkle plopped down next to Italy, slipping an arm around him. "Hey, remember me? We made a pasta date!"

"Veh~"

"Please could you hurry up?" I muttered darkly, my eyes flickering in the firelight. It's not like I had anything against this girl, but I guess spending time with Britain had brought out my infamous British impatience.

"Sure." She seemed completely unaffected by my menacing aura. "I have some presents."

She began fishing in her pockets and pulled out two name tags. "One for Canada and one for Kumajiro!"

Canada accepted them half-heartedly, pinning the badge to his polar bears collar. "Thank you. Maybe more people won't mistake me for my brother now."

"Oh, I would never mistake you for your brother, America." Sparkle teased, patting him on the head. "Just kidding Canada. It's so you two won't forget each other's names silly."

"Oh, then thank you." He smiled more warmly now, nestling into the snow white fur of Kumajiro.

"Well, that's about all for me." Sparkle grinned, unzipping my tent and climbing inside. "Time to sleep."

Prussia raised one eyebrow at me. I nodded. The trio dragged her screaming from my house, placing her outside in the street.

"JUST WAIT!" She yelled from the littered pavement. "I'M GIVING POLAND PINK PAINT AND LETTING HIM REDECORATE THIS HOUSE!"

"S-she wouldn't do that, would she?" I muttered nervously, watching her retreating figure.

"I'm sure no one is that evil dude." America reassured me, patting my back. "So we're all done now?"

"Yup. So now I have a request for our reviewers."

I turned around and regarded the empty air, smiling evilly. "So I had the best idea for a game. We're gonna play truth or dares!"

There was an even divide of reluctant groans and excited whoops throughout the room. "So remember who's here, because there's no point sending a truth or dare for someone who isn't here and…"

"Wait… WHAT?" Britain yelped.

"Yeah, I'm leaving the truths and dares up to the reviewers." I turned to the empty air again. "You can ask any one of us who's here and we'll have no choice but to answer!"

"Are you sure that's safe?" He gasped.

"Nope."

"But-"

He was interrupted by a thud and mad snickering, coming from the front of my house. Prussia ran out to investigate, returning seconds later wearing a crazy grin and holding up a paintbrush.

I threw my head in my hands. "Say it isn't so."

"Sorry babe." He shrugged, confirming my worst fears. "The entire front of your house is pink."

Original Comments:

IHeartGiripan:

R.I.P Me, Death by Laughter. The reactions to my questions...LOLZ!

Q1. Not really a question, but Sealand: You sound like Lauren Lopez. I mean.  
>It's not bad though, cuz she's an awesome actress. Not as awesome as Prussia<br>though, so no need to panic!

Q2. Dearest England, my home-country, ADMIT IT! You love France!

Q3. Bad Touch Trio FTW.

Q4. Again, not a question but for France anyway: Je parle français, mais je  
>ne suis pas couramment.<p>

ADIOS PEOPLE!

RandomWriter57:

Thanks for using my review!

Is it okay if I ask some more?

America: I should have known! But still, how many burgers do you eat a day?  
>And who has a BBQ in Britain in winter? That just sounds stupid...<p>

England: Don't worry! I know a lot of people who like your food...so not  
>everyone hates it! The others are just picky.<p>

France: I'm not crazy! British food is better than snails and frog's legs!

Romano: I'm sorry! I'll ask you a question...do you want a tomato? *hands  
>tomato*<p>

Italy: Your eyes are pretty :)

Germany: I'm good thanks.

Prussia: Okay, I will admit that you are awesome, but there are other awesome  
>people too you know! (and I'm NOT deluded!)<p>

*is a girl :)*

Canada: That's a bit harsh...but you're still awesome!

HetaliaSparkleParty:

*pouts* That hurt! *face goes dark and room temperature drpos several  
>degrees* Next time I'll beat you until your silly little faces are ugly..<br>Especially France's... JK! ^^ But seriously, that hurt...

Anyways, I have some mores questions! *sets up tent in the living room*

Germany- *glomps* OMG! DID YOU MISS ME! Weren't you worried that your brother  
>was going to hurt me badly? Of course you were! ^^*holds on to his neck*<p>

Prussia- I AM WAAAAAY AWESOMER THAN YOU! YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID! Please  
>consult my team of flying mint bunnies with any complaints you have! ^^ If you<br>can find them.

England- Love the eyebrows! *starts stuffing scones into her mouth* Wanna help  
>me teach that frog a lesson?<p>

Italy: Yay! I love pasta! Were should we go?

Canada- Hiya! *gives nametags to Kumajiro& Canada* Now you can remember each  
>others name!<p>

Poland- You're awesome. Awesomer than Prussia! *gives pink paintbrush&paint*  
>Go ahead an re-decorate the house! ^^<p>

I'll be going to sleep now, so bye! *crawls into tent

Spain: Hola! Que tal? (I speak Spanish too...)


End file.
